{"id":6514,"date":"2020-02-24T22:22:16","date_gmt":"2020-02-24T22:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theparentsocial.com\/?p=6514"},"modified":"2020-06-23T08:45:19","modified_gmt":"2020-06-23T08:45:19","slug":"mothers-day-mental-load-and-being-left-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theparentsocial.com\/mothers-day-mental-load-and-being-left-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother\u2019s Day, Mental Load and Being Left Out"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I<\/em><\/strong> had a reminder today from school about the PTA\u2019s secret squirrel Mother\u2019s Day mission. There\u2019s a deadline to produce something (I deliberately didn\u2019t look at the details), which will be made into a gift for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I immediately nudged my husband and asked him to talk to the\nkids about it as I knew they\u2019d want to be involved and be disappointed if they\nmissed the boat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The mental load <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

My initial thought was that organising my own Mother\u2019s Day present was the perfect example of the unequal distribution of the mental load<\/a> (I work too by the way). Would the reverse happen for Father\u2019s Day; would my husband Matt give me the heads up to make sure that I was on the case? Of course not. Matt* doesn\u2019t even get the school emails. I did all the paperwork for the children\u2019s\u2019 schools when they started, which makes me the primary contact. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aside from receiving all the memos, I make sure they have the kit they need for whatever club they\u2019re doing, I know when all the inset days are, when random \u2018team points\u2019 mufti day is, when they need to take in the charitable donations, what day to order lunches for the week ahead, the what and when of homework, the extracurricular activities, which need paying for, World Book Day, and so on and so on\u2026  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

* This is in no way a dig at him\n  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there is another issue about the Mother\u2019s Day, school-organised present\u2026  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pressure and being left out  <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As much as a Mother\u2019s Day gift organised via the PTA sounds full of good intentions, it can be a bit of a minefield. It can put unnecessary extra pressure on working parents (it\u2019s another thing to remember\/organise\/fail at), it can put extra financial pressure on parents, because of course there\u2019s a price tag attached; also there\u2019s the issue for single parents or for children that might not find it easy to deliver what’s required or perhaps even those who don\u2019t have a fantastic relationship with their children. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mother\u2019s Day opt out<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n

On a slight aside, I\u2019ve already received a number of Mother\u2019s Day \u2018opt-out\u2019 emails. This basically means you can opt out from receiving any promotional content surrounding this particular calendar event. Mother\u2019s Day, and reminders of the day, can be difficult for lots of people for many different reasons. It\u2019s 20 years since I lost my mum<\/a>, so it isn\u2019t nearly as raw, but for others it certainly is. I think this is a very mindful response.  <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n


\n
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had a reminder today from school about the PTA\u2019s secret squirrel Mother\u2019s Day mission. There\u2019s a deadline to produce something (I deliberately didn\u2019t look at the details), which will be made into a gift for me. I immediately nudged my husband and asked him to talk to the kids about it as I knew<\/p>\n

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